"Hi - how are you?" ...

I've been trying so hard not to ask the routine "How are you?" when I greet people.  To not make it my usual greeting is hard.  Some would ask why wouldn't you want to ask?  I believe it isn't something most really want to answer and do we really want the REAL answer?  it's the American routine greeting.  Funny how you can see an acquaintance in the mall or grocery store and say "Hey!  How are you?", and just keep on walking.  So I've purposed not to ask when acknowledging someone UNLESS I really have the heart to care how they really are.

I MESSED UP already in 2013 and DID IT though!  Quickly I recovered by stumbling upon my lips saying "and don't you just hate it when people ask you that?"  This acquaintance at church replied - "yes I do so this week when the pharmacist asked I told him life really stinks!"  In their family, his wife is pregnant and has breast cancer.  They've begun chemo and their unborn baby has been kept in the womb until he can arrive safely without needing ICU.  They're in the safe zone now for his arrival within the next couple weeks.  She just shaved her beautiful head of hair this week as it has been falling out in the piles.

When I think of my own deepest and dark chapter in my life story...trying to hide from people or not acknowledge someone I've thought and OVER-thought - "How am I?"   My counselor told me to tell people "life is hard,thanks.", rather than speak the lying, "Fine!"  I tried the counselor's words a couple times and the shocked look that well-meaning people had on their face after that reply was to much for me (and them!)  So I opted out to reply nothing. 

Retro art by Jeanne Winters

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Listen the next time you go to church and do the "turn around to greet one another" in the 1 minute allotted and hear the echo "how are you? how are you?"  How many are enduring a hard place, a horrid pain, a sorrow so great?   We can't stay home when we are in the midst of life's trials just to avoid the "how are you" question.  Do you know someone who struggles with depression who sees the world through such a dark place?  Can they say "FINE" to the common question asked?  When a husband is unfaithful, your teen is into drugs or a part of your body is hit by cancer - though we don't know what is happening in the lives of the people how can we ask "How are you"? 

Because of enduring the "friendly fire" of that routine question, in the THICK of life, I see it with such different answers.  The little simple questions in life become hard to answer.  I want to keep my habitual tongue and seek to find a better way of greeting in America.  To the casual acquaintance - maybe to say "HI." and nothing else.  To the dear friend who I've not talked with and don't have time to while pumping gas, can I 'share the care' in that brief encounter?  Can I have a Christ centered care about their answer?   If they have a foul plate of sorrow can I really care about "how you are?" 

Holy Spirit work in and through us to speak words of life and encourage their day, not add to unknown pain. 

Greet those who love us in the faith.  Grace - God's favor and blessing be with you all.  Amen - so be it. 

Titus 3:15b Amplified